Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
