Who wears a wallet chain?!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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