covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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