I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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