i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
