I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize