i may or may not be watching the land before time
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
