After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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