The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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