i just had sex bonerless
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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