nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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