Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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