You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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