ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jerry, you need to find god
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
