I accidentally had phone sex last night
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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