What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
