its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
