brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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