I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
