OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
