Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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