I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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