I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
