I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
