I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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