After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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