I hate all girls vehemently.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My liver just had a heart attack.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
