WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
