she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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