this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
