ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
