im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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