I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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