I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
