I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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