I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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