Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
