The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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