I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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