Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.