It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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