You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.