Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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