try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
