She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.