She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
