my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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