I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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