Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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