Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I deserve this hangover.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
