you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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