Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
