I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
