There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
