with your own penis?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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