how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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