never play flip cup with pint glasses
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
soo... how was my night?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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