take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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