so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
