So drunk its hurt
Plan B is the new Plan A
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
