I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
