At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My penis needs a shock collar
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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