So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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