i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Farmville is her only friend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
