Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
