are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
