Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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