we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize