problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
