Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
