is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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