I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
